Happy Holidays!

I'll keep this one short and sweet...

I'm off to Fairmont Hotsprings for a Tataren Family Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANNUKAH, HAPPY KWANZAA, HAPPY EID AND HAPPY ANY OTHER RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY I'VE OVERLOOKED!

New Followers Gadget

I've installed a Followers Gadget that lets me know how many people are actually reading my blog. It's down on the left side of the page. Sign up and let me know.

The Laramie Project Protest

Going to Commercial Drive tonight to counter-protest the Westboro Baptist Church. They're coming up from the States to protest a production of The Laramie Project.

If you'll recall, in 1998 Matthew Shepard was a university student who was lured from a gay bar in Laramie Wyoming by two men, driven outside of town, stripped & tied to a fence, beaten and left for dead. He eventually did die of a heart attack before he was discovered. The Laramie Project is a play that focuses on the aftermath of Matthew's murder and the effect on the community.

So, in their typical hateful fashion the Westboro Baptist Church intends to come up to Canada and protest the play. This "church" regularly protested the funerals of soldiers from Afghanistan and Iraq until the government legislated against that type of action. However, they continue to protest the funerals of known gays & lesbians and they're trying to spread their hate in Canada now. In a nutshell (emphasis on nut), they believe that the western world has turned away from God and that we all deserve violent deaths and disease as a result of our wickedness. Nice bunch, non?

Anyway, I'll be there tonight, with Jason and friends to let these hateful, despicable, people know that they and their ideology are not welcome here. While I disagree with them, they are entitled to their beliefs under a democracy, but don't bring your beliefs to my doorstep and expect me to refrain from expressing mine.

Milk...Wow

Went and saw Milk at the Festival Cinemas last night. Wow. What a great movie. Sean Penn was friggin' amazing.

I was riveted by the movie. It has original film footage from the 1970's interspersed with the storyline and it works really well. I found myself wanting to turn away from the screen when the ending was coming because I knew what was going to happen and I didn't want to accept it.

Wow. Thank you Gus Van Sant for bringing this important story to the screen.

Go see this movie.

Cinemark's Dirty Secret

Cinemark is releasing "Milk" this week. It tells the story of a lesser known gay and lesbian rights hero who was murdered in 1978 along with the Mayor of San Fransico. I was eager to go to see this movie at a cinema across the street from where I live (Tinsletown Theatres) until I was recently disappointed to discover that Alan Stock (CEO of Cinemark) donated $9,999.00 for Proposition 8 (to repeal same sex marriage rights in California). It really angers me to think that Mr. Stock and his company feel that it is OK to take the money of gays and lesbians on one hand and actively pursue a course of action that would deny those very same people equality in society. I mean, let's be honest here, Milk is not likely to have mass appeal to the heterosexual majority and will probably draw the largest portion of its revenues from gays, lesbians, and transgendered people.

There are a few campaigns to boycott Cinemark, Century, CineArts, and Tinsletown theatres over this action. The Facebook campaign now has over 17,000 people on it and is growing.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=38921980657

I have joined this group and have encouraged my friends to do the same. I have also found another theatre in Vancouver (Festival Theatre) that will be showing this film.

http://www.festivalcinemas.ca/

Maybe I'll see you there?

Boo Hoo Canadian Blood Services

So, Canadian Blood Services has been crying about the dangerously low stockpile of blood as of late. Well, boo fucking hoo! Don't publicly lament the dearth of donors on one hand and then uphold a discriminatory ban against accepting the blood of gay and bisexual men. I personally tried to donate blood twice when I was in university and I was twice denied because I was sexually active with other men. Never mind that I practised safe sex. The issue was that I had sex at all. Don't get me wrong, I believe that Canadian Blood Services does good work and saves lives. But they will never get my sympathy as long as they prevent people like me and Jason from donating our blood.

The Time of Darkness is Fast Approaching

Ugh! Daylight Savings ends on November 2nd. I hate winter hours. Go to work in the dark...come home from work in the dark and only see daylight from the office window. That's when it's not raining.

I need a job that lets me travel to warmer and sunnier climes in the winter. I needs me my sun!

Chad VanGaalen

Check out this video. My new favourite (for this week, anyway). Haunting and beautiful at the same time.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=DLw5b70OJH8

Strangest Pictogram...Ever!

What the hell is this supposed to tell you?

A)Do not sing with a bag over your head

B)Do not choke yourself while your head is in a plastic water jug.

C)Do not place this plastic bag over the head of a blow up doll.

Willy Alert

With all the bad press coming out of China about melamine contamination in everything from pet food to baby food to (horror of all horrors) chocolate, I thought I'd seen it all. Well, apparently not. It seems now that your willies may be involved in this debacle. The CBC has reported that chocolate flavoured body spreads (the kind you buy in sex shops) are also contaminated with the stuff.
From my understanding, melamine was added to these other food products to artificially elevate the estimates of protein content. Why then, is it being added to chocolate flavoured body spreads? I should think that protein content would be the least of your concerns during this type of activity.
Am I wrong?
By the way, I know this picture is not of a willy, nor is probably chocolate flavoured body paint, but it is damn freaky, non?

Trial By Liar

So...I spent my day yesterday sitting outside of a courtroom, waiting to testify in an assaut trial. Let me go back in time with a quick synopsis for you...

In April 2008, six of us from my softball team were practicing in Strathcona Park when a couple of teenagers broke into the Jeep of one of our players. We confronted them and were surrounded by more teenagers. A 'rumble' ensued and two of the teenager were charged, one with assault and the other with assault with a weapon (a police baton). The kid charged with assault pleaded guilty and the other went to trial.

Yesterday, we went to court to testify. After the fire alarm went off, we had to vacate the building and wait to be let back in, delaying the procedings by over an hour. Once back inside, the defence attorney saw that there were 4 witnesses waiting outside the court room and another one on the way. Additionally, the Crown attorney told him that I and one of my teammates would perform well on the witness stand. At this point, the defence called for a recess to speak with his client. An hour later, the kid changed his plea to guilty. Little bastard! Waste everyone's time in the hope that the witnesses won't show up and he can squeek through without any consequence.

I'm proud of my teammates for showing up to testify and let this kid know that we weren't going to pretend like nothing happened. Maybe this way he'll see that there are actually consequences to his actions and become a more responsible person for it.

Or maybe I'm just dreaming.

$300 Million Later and Almost Nothing Changes

Thank you Stephen Harper for breaking your own fixed election date law to spend almost $300 million tax dollars and accomplish very little change in the House of Commons. Your party is still leading a minority parliament which will once again deteriorate into partisan sniping and eventually deadlock, resulting in another election in 18 to 24 month from now.

With bullshit like this, it's no wonder fewer and fewer people vote anymore.

Jackass.

Roast of Bob Saget

Holy Crap! Watched the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget last weekend. Many of the regulars were there on the dais but the stand out performance had to be Cloris Leachman. She opened with, "I'm not here to roast Bob Saget, I'm her to f*ck John Stamos" This was later followed up with "Go f*uck a donkey and then come talk to me". This from an 82 year old woman! This roast wasn't quite up there with the Pamela Anderson Roast, but it was pretty close.

Here's the clip...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmTiAflugSc

Madge

Klaus has two extra tickets for Madonna on October 31st that he's selling to Jay & I at cost! Wasn't sure originally if I wanted to go but then I figured that the ol' girl ain't gettin' any younger and I may not have a chance to see her again. Although, if she pulls any farewell to the farewell stunts like Cher has done, there will be other opportunities.

Just in case though, I'm going to this one.

Media Relations Policy

An email was circulated around work today reminding staff that all external communications have to be run through official channels. There's even a section regarding personal blogs! Naturally, I can't tell you where I work because by doing so, I'd be breaking the Media Relations Policy!

Tired of Chores!

Had a busy but great weekend. Jay & I had a party for our softball team (and friends) at our place on Friday night. It had to be on Friday because one of our players works on Saturday night. Needless to say, the week leading up to Friday was insane...cleaning, planning, cleaning, buying groceries, cleaning, updating iPod playlist, cleaning, you get the picture. The turnout was great. I think we had 24 people, and the last ones didn't leave until after 3 am.

Saturday was a bit of a slow day...sleep in, cleaning, breakfast, cleaning, laundry, cleaning, walk the dog, cleaning, catch up TV shows that we missed while getting ready for the party all week long.

By Sunday, we were back to being busy. Went out to Maple Ridge to help Jay's parents get the garden ready for winter, had lunch with them, drove back home, played volleyball, dinner and bed by 10:00.

I'm so tired of chores.

Danny Williams

Here's another man I love (although for very different reasons than Brad Pitt). Danny Williams, the Premier of Newfoundland & Labrador, has made it his personal mission to discredit the Federal Conservative Party during this election. He's even gone so for as to ask his ministers to campaign with Liberal, NDP and Green candidates while going door to door! And, if THAT'S not enough, he has started a website called, "Anything But Conservative".

http://www.anythingbutconservative.ca/

This ABC message seems to be helping keep the Conservatives below the Liberals in the province's polls.

You go, Danny Boy!!! (I love this picture! Do you think he's imagining Stephen Harper's red neck between his fists?)

Gotta Love Brad Pitt

Aside from the fact that he may just be the sexiest actor in the world, Brad Pitt is also a friend of the gays. He recently donated $100,000 to the campaign in California to retain same-sex marriage. In fact, his donation is the highest of all celebrities so far and he stated he is surprised that more stars have not mobilized to support this important cause. Here's what he had to say...

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8."

I love this man, and he's right...where are all the Hollywood mo's with all their support? If anyone should be standing up, it should surely include the the gays themselves.

Back to the Old Grindstone

Got back from Onterrible a couple of days ago. Still tired from the trip. Had a great time at Sophie's wedding and later with my family. Met some awesome people at the wedding too. Will update with photos later.

Hot. So Hot.

As I sit here writing this, I am schwitzing like there's no tomorrow. It' only about 25 degrees out, but it's also 70+% humidity right now. It's really true when people say, "It's not the heat that gets me...it's the humidity".
Jay and I have a softball tournament tomorrow and I fear for my health. I like hot weather but hot is a relative concept. For me, hot is about 25 degrees, but with an ocean breeze and a margharita in my hand! And clearly, I don't dig the humidity thing.
Unfortunately, we will be playing in 27 degree, full sun, high humidity weather. Our first game is at 8:00am, which in itself is a crime, but at least the temperature and sun will be lower. However, our afternoon game(s) will be rough. I wonder if I could still play well with a parasol? Or, maybe one of those umbrella hats you see Chinese people wearing at parades, sporting events, walking down the street?

Now Where Was I? Oh Yes, the Rodeo

God, it seems like I've been writing about this forever. It's been so long now that I don't even remember everything. I have GOT to get a Macbook Air to travel with.

In order to get this done, I'm going to make point form notes.

• saw several events, barrel racing was my favourite, drank beer, drank vodka & 7Up, drank whatever was put in front of me
• competitor number 151 was by far the hottest one, have no idea what his actual name was, but is a name really necessary?
• roast beef in the dinner on the first night was ghastly...akin to chewing on a tire!
• barn dance on the first night was packed. Jay got too drunk and I had to take him back to the tent around 1:00am.
• neighbours in RVs near us formed a square and set up a dance party deluxe. Mirror ball, smoke machines and pounding music until 4:30am!
• I recall getting up to go to the loo at around 4:00am and the sky wasn't entirely dark, there was light on the horizon all night long. It was kinda freaky.
• next day, saw several more events, drank several more drinks
• had a nap with Jay & Klaus under a tree in the afternoon, beside a really drunk guy
• on our way back to the tents, we passed a motor home with a bar, an awning, picnic tables and snacks set up. The "bartender" offered us a drink and we ended up staying for a couple of hours. By then there were about 20 or more people hanging around and boozing. Really drunk guy (see previous point) showed up, hooked up with "Mr Hardline" and we can only assume, got his freak on later in the evening. That would have been a premier event. I mean, look at the guy.

• finally went back to tents and had hotdogs for dinner and a shower. (and no, that's not a euphemism)
• barn dance the second night was much calmer and smaller. All the Calgary rowdies (including our noisy neighbours) went back to Calgary because they had to work the next day and all the competitors showed up because the competition was over. Alas, no number 151 though.
• had a good night's sleep, got up in the morning, packed up and left for Fairmont

There now. I know it's not as pretty as my previous posts but I seriously don't care at this point. I just want to make sure I get this down before my early onset Alzheimer's strikes again.

F'ing PETA!

Those assholes at PETA have gone way to far with this ad. So far, only one newspaper has dared to print it "The Portage Daily" or some bullshit rag name like that. I used to have some respect for these people, but comparing the barbaric act that occured on the Greyhound bus near Winnipeg to the slaughter of animals for food is too much for me. Here, see for yourself.

Anderson Cooper Trash Talk

My hero of the week has to be Anderson Cooper for saying what most of us are thinking about Dina Lohan. His first salvo is fired while filling in for Regis Philbin and his second salvo is a day or two later on his own show. I love it!

Check out this clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVlWkld_kh8

Angry Klaus

Had a great little conversation with Klaus yesterday. Lately, he's been talking about starting his own blog as an outlet for all the irritations he has to suffer throughout his day. Basically, it would be a bitch blog. And knowing Klaus, it would probably be politically incorrect on the scale of Lisa Lampanelli.
We both mused about what the best title for his blog might be when it suddenly struck me. Given his heritage and his predisposition to be annoyed by almost anything, I suggested "The Sour Kraut".

There are Two Things I Hate About Monogamy...

Had a very fun Pride this year. Good times with old friends and met a few interesting characters along the way.
After the parade and festival on Sunday, Jay and I went with a few friends to a lesbian party. Met a girl there whose name escapes me, but I'll find out from Bev (the girl who invited us). She blurted out the funniest line I'd heard all Pride weekend. And I quote, "There are two things I hate about monogamy... The first thing is monogamy. The second thing is having to shower with someone."
WTF?
Everyone present for this little nugget of wisdom was silent for about, oh, I'd say, 2 seconds and then just burst out laughing.
Sometimes, I just love the shit that comes out of people's mouths after several hours of the drink.

Calgary Road Trip - Getting Settled at the Ranch

TRIED to follow the Googlemaps directions out of downtown Calgary to the ranch. What a fiasco! Do yourself a favour and buy a mapbook. The instructions got North/South right but missed the mark on East/West and on the names of a couple of critical exits off the highway. We ended up going in the wrong direction a couple of times and, before you say it, yes...we can all read maps. Finally, we stopped at a gas station adjacent to a mall and, as it turned out, we were only about 5 minutes away from the ranch. In all, what should have taken only about 20 minutes took us about an hour and frazzled the hell out of us.

When we pulled into the ranch, we immediately noticed that the camping area was packed. We parked at the admin office/general store and registered to camp. The two ladies behind the counter were just as frazzled as we were by this point because they had been registering people all morning and had lost track of whether or not they had any camping space left. After about a second and a half of thought, they came to the conclusion that they could "squeeze" us in. And squeeze us in they did. We followed some old geezer (I'll call him Joe) on a golf cart around on a 15 minute exploration of the camping sites to see what he could find. Eventually, Joe directed us to set up on the edge of a sand volleyball court. We parked the vehicles and set up the tents. The barrier you see behind us and the couple of other tents are the only thing that separated us from a very, VERY busy highway.

As a side note, I wanted to add here that we hadn't been at our site more than about 10 minutes when I heard someone calling, "Alan". It turns out that several Vancouverites come to this rodeo every year. Here's a pic of Luis and Brie (Klaus' favourite kind of cheese). But, they were not the only people we either recognized or met from Vancouver.

Back to my story...

It hadn't rained for awhile before the rodeo and as we found out when we tried to set up the umbrellas, the ground was so hard it was impossible to push the poles in. I, in my infinite wisdom, had brought a hammer for just such an event. However, I failed to bring something to place on the end of the poles so I didn't damage them while pounding them into the ground. "What did you do?", you ask? I folded a towel a couple of times and used that. Unfortunately, I had to use so much force that the pole started punching holes in the towel! It looked like Swiss cheese when I was done and the damn pole still wasn't in the ground!

Enter the lesbian...

Sue was at a site behind us and noticed we'd been doing the same activity for a very long time. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and came over with a 2x4 to help the poor gay boys out. It definitely did the trick. Both poles were in the ground in a matter of minutes. However, I actually split the 2x4 lengthwise with all the pounding! Finally, after much bru ha ha, we were set up.

More to come...(I can't believe this is entry #6 on this trip and I've only gotten to the ranch part now).

Calgary Road Trip Revisited (Twisted Element - part 2)

Was verbally spanked last night by Klaus for not continuing the Calgary Road Trip saga. I'll pick it up again, with one final note regarding Twisted Element...
Apparently, there's a strong health and safety ethos in the gay Calgary nightclub scene. The men's washroom had a very lovely 'glory hole' between the two stalls. It came complete with toilet paper padding around the edges so as to avoid any unpleasant nicks! It's good to see the mo's in Calgary are doing their part to prevent tetanus. I mean really, what good's a fag with lockjaw?

where the Hell is Matthew Harding?

Awhile ago, Jason told me about a video blog of a guy who was filiming himself dancing around the world. At first, I thought it sounded a bit cheesy but I finally just got around to checking out this guy's blog.

HOLY CRAP! After watching the first video, I actually began to cry. Now, I've been called the Ice Man on more than one occasion, due to my aversion to crying. However, there was no holding it all in this time. This guy has traversed the globe so many times and done his stupid little dance with people from just about every culture you can imagine. Its such a powerful series of images. It show's just how beautiful our planet is and reminds us all of just how similar we are.

After a bit of research, I found out that this guy has been doing this for a couple of years already. He was a gamer who was credited with the concept for a game called "Destroy All Humans" and he didn't want that to end up being his legacy so he eventually quit his job to do this project. I'm not sure when or where the Stride Gum sponsorship came in, and I don't really care.

Here's the link to his blog. Do yourself a favour and check it out.

http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/

WESA 30th Anniversary Celebration

Spent this past Sunday at Brockton Oval for the West End Slow Pitch Association's 30th anniversary. In many leagues this might not be a big deal, but WESA is the longest running gay sports league in Vancouver and as such, is something to celebrate.

Yours truly was invited to play in both the Mable (lesbian league) vs. WESA and the All-Stars games. How did I do, you ask? Well, lets just say I had fun. I did not even get onto the bases once, in either game. Ah well, it's good to be humbled sometimes. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

Here's a pic of me getting ready to swing. The look on my face is all business, but don't let it fool you!

Jason was also invited to play in the rookies game. He did very well and he had a great time too.

A few of our friends came out to cheer us on. Pictured are Klaus, Eric, Remy, Miguel, Blair, Bev and "Roxie".

The Shane Factor

On our second night in Calgary we went out to Twisted Element. One of the few remaining gay spaces we could find in Calgary, I might add. I had been there once before (years ago) and the place had not changed much, if at all. My memory of my previous visit is a bit funny, to say the least. Although, I could have sworn the basement level had pool tables instead of a cabaret lounge the last time. Anyway, the place is decent and the crowd was cute, so we had a good time.

One notable oddity in the place though was the appearance of many of the lesbians. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but the popularity of the L Word has resulted in legions of lesbians doffing plaid shirts and sensible shoes for the "Shane look". Don't get me wrong, she's very fashionable and very attractive, but there almost seemed to be some sort of Stepford House Wife air to the place. In fact, at one point later in the night, my friend Klaus turned to me and said, "Oh look, Shane from season 3 is going home with Shane from season 2."

WTF?!?

I guess it's just a pop culture thing, or a Calgary thing, or maybe a lesbo thing. Who knows? In any event, the Shane Factor was in full force that night and I found myself wondering why no one wanted to look like Phyllis (too old?) or Helena (too lipstick?). It seems Calgary lesbians only have eyes for Shane.

Get Aboard the Band Wagon!

On our second day in Calgary, Klaus, Jay and I came back to the hotel after an afternoon of walking around, shopping, and sipping cocktails on a sunny patio. We had a slight buzz on but nothing too serious until Klaus turned on the TV and there was the most ridiculous movie on! It was a 50's style gangster musical called The Band Wagon. I don't know if this is a well known movie in this day and age or not, but it should be. It is one whacked out musical that you've got to see to believe. People were dancing, be-boppin', and scatin' all over the place; with a hefty dose of gun play mixed in and a string-heavy sound track to boot!Funniest thing I've seen on TV in awhile. We were almost in tears!
I'm going to download it and have it playing silently on the TV the next time we have a party just to see how many people get sucked in.

Calgary 5 Hotel

We stayed at the Calgary 5 Hotel because it was right downtown and because the rate was reasonable (there was a gay rodeo discount, if you can believe it!). When we got there, we pulled into the parking garage and noticed that every single spot on the first 3 levels was reserved for some business or another. The spots were clearly marked with a sheet of paper inserted into a plastic pouch and then 'tastefully' taped to the front wall of each stall. The water stains and blurred print assured me that the paper was not laminated. I immediately had a sinking feeling about our accomodations but didn't say anything to Jason. We finally parked the vehicle, grabbed our luggage, and headed to the elevators. In a brilliant effort to foil would be robbers, the hotel rigged the elevator so that it had to go to the lobby level before it could go up to the rooms. So, if your room was on the 20th floor and you just came back and parked your vehicle, you would have to travel back down to the lobby, then press the 20 button to go back up to your floor. WTF? How does that prevent a robbery? Anyway, we had to register at the front desk, so it didn't matter to us at the time.
Whe we arrived at the lobby, my uncertainty about our choice of hotels was somewhat allayed as the lobby was tastefully decorated in a modern style. We checked in and the staff was friendly and efficient and in no time we had our room cards. We went up to our room and as we walked through the front door, we must have walked through a space-time portal because we arrived in a 1960's West End appartment complete with original appliances and fixtures! It was kind of funny. If you didn't look out the window, you would have sworn you were in the West End. For the life of me, I don't know why I didn't get a picture of it. After the initial shock, I poked around a bit and found that despite the older decor, the room was quite clean and the bed (with the exception of the rock hard pillows) was quite comfortable. Plus, it had a nice gym, sauna, and outdoor swimming pool.

Getting to Calgary

Well, we made it to Calgary. The trip here was actually fairly uneventful. We had a nice time in Kelowna, visiting Tracey and Kelly and the kids. They are very well behaved. I may actually like kids afterall! We had lunch at Sun Peaks resort and saw two black bears (a mother and cub) and we were amazed by how much this area has grown. It will be close to triple the original size by 2012. Too bad we didn't buy some property up here a few years ago.
We also stopped in at Kelly's parents. They have a thouroughbred ranch with about 100 horses on it. This place is beautiful and their house is amazing! It's about a 4000 square foot rancher with 3 koi ponds surrounding it and a trout pond out front. Oh yeah, they also have a waterfall and an L-shaped koi pond in their living room. You can walk the bridge over the pond to one of the outdoor patios!
On our way into Calgary we were DANGEROUSLY low on gas. So much so that Jay turned off the fan and the radio and was cruising along at 100 kms/hr exactly. He said he didn't want anything drawing on the gas tank that didn't need to be. I thought the fan and radio drew on the battery, but what the hell do I know? Anyway, we finally pulled into Chief Chiniki's gas station. Yep, it was on a reserve and it was VERY rustic. We pulled in and there was a person being interrogated in his vehicle by RCMP officers, there were two native security gards in front of the store and there were about 5 or 6 natives in the store/cash out area. Oh yeah, let's not forget the graffiti on the pumps and the side of the building. I went into the store to pay for the gas and got the hell outta there as soon as I could. Jay pumped the gas and he over-squeezed 4 cents. I gave him a dime and told him to go in and pay for the extra gas. I thought they'd come after us if we didn't. He said , "No" and started up the truck. We drove off saying, "Thanks for the gas, Chief Chiniki!" (inside the truck, with the windows up, of course).
Our first night in Calgary was pretty good but we were sorely disappointed by the wet jockey party at the Eagle. There were 6 or 7 contestants and God bless them, but I don't think they were exactly Calgary's finest. I guess I was expecting tall, well-built jocks in really tight, sexy gonch. What we got were fairly decent guys in ugly, ill fitting y-fronts. Not at all flattering. Oh well, they had fun and we got drunk.
I'll sign off for now and try to update when I can.

TTFN

Yee Haw! I leave for the rodeo tomorrow! Won't have computer access for a week or so but when I finally do, I should have some great stories to tell.

The Tooth Doctor

I have to go my semi-annual checkup at the dentist today. Not one of my favourite things, as you can imagine. It's not that I have a lot of tooth problems (I've only ever had 2 cavities), it's just that I don't like the experience of the dentist. Sharp instruments, that antiseptic smell, the uncomfortable feeling of someone else's fingers in my mouth and above all, the palpable sense of fear that permeates the waiting area. They say animals can sense fear and I'm here to tell you , so can I. I don't know if it's the dilated pupils or the trickle of sweat on the person next to me, but it's always there. Fear of pain. Fear of having to pay an expensive bill. Or maybe...fear that you will be called a liar after you somewhat over-enthusiastically respond to the dentist that yes, you absolutely do floss your teeth. This lie of course is almost always answered with a whithering look of disapproval that hearkens you back to that moment in your childhood where you first experienced a similar look from your mother because she knew you were lying too.

OMG!!!

If this is not one of the hottest men on earth, I don't know who is!!! Check out Posh's better half in the new Armani ad campaign. Is it legal for someone to be this good looking?

Katy Perry

For those of you who like the taste of fluff, here's my new favourite flavour of the month. Enjoy... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVVxOWXxpMI

Also very tasty... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zluCpm93vfg

The Birds!

I walk to and from work everyday (yeah environment!) and I pass Andy Livingston Park. Or, as I like to call it, "Crackhead Bushpeople Park". Anyway, I'm walking along and I hear these very angry sounding crowes. I look over and see two crowes strafing some cracked out guy (whom I will now call Tippi) who in turn, is yelling at, giving the finger to and waving his fist at the birds. It was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time! How many of you can honestly say you've seen someone flip the bird to a bird? Anyway, these two upstanding avian citizens drove Tippi out of the park, across the sidewalk and across the three-lane road before they left him alone! How can it be that two birds are more effective than the police at patrolling this park? I think the city of Vancouver should put them on the payroll. I may just toss them some crackers as a reward on my way home today.

The Gay Rodeo

It's official. Jason & I will be heading out on a road trip to Calgary for the Gay Rodeo http://www.argra.org/ at the end of June. It should be a blast! All Brokeback Mountain jokes aside, I am really looking forward to it. I've never been to a rodeo before and this one has regular, sanctioned rodeo events and then some campy events like getting a pair of panties on a goat. WTF, you ask? Yes, they pull volunteers from the crowd, pair them up (no pun intended) and get them to compete to see who can get the job done the fastest! I may actually die laughing.

There will be a couple of barn dances at the rodeo and since neither Jason nor I know how to two-step or line dance, we will be stopping over in Kelowna to get lessons from some friends of ours. Nothing like one night of lessons to get you ready to dance in public! I'm gonna need a few cocktails before this actually has a chance of happening.

On our way back, we will be passing through Banff and stopping for a few days in Fairmont to visit Jason's sister and her family. I'll be keeping an ear out for the distinct sound of banjos in the woods! Seriously though, it will be a nice time to catch up. Jason's neices are 13 and 9 and they're growing up really fast. When you don't see them for a few months, they change so much.

Hopefully, I'll have some good road trip stories (and a few interesting pics)...

Tibet (fact vs. fiction)

As I am only fed the western news, I do not pretend to know the intricacies of what has or is going on in Tibet. However, does this recent photo (from a Facebook friend) look very VERY suspicious to you? I know that there could be other explanations and an equal number of interpretations, but does this look like Chinese soldiers getting ready to don monk robes? Now, why would Chinese soldiers what to impersonate monks? I'm not accusing, I'm just asking...

Cirque du Soleil

The Cirque du "So Gay" lackeys are in town already, setting up the big top. The performances begin sometime this month and I have to admit, I'm a big fan of the Cirque. All those lithe, muscular bodies straining in singlets. Who wouldn't be turned on? Especially the body balancers. Dios mio. That reminds me. A point of clarification... If the wearer is hot, it's called a singlet. If they're not, it's called a unitard. Remember these terms...they'll serve you well.

Anyway, I can see the lackeys setting up from my living room window. Talk about a boring repetitive job. Seriously... put up the tent, take down the tent, put up the tent, take down the tent, lather, rinse, repeat...

Jason

My best friend and partner is Jason. We've been together for over 8 years now, although we had to set an arbritrary anniversary date of Feb 14th. We actually did meet sometime in February but neither of us remembers the date. And in the end, does the date really matter? Anyway, he's smart, gentle, kind and reeeeeeeeeeeeeeealy patient. God knows you'd have to be patient to live with me!

This is the earliest digital picture I have of him. It was taken at Galiano Island. We went kayaking there for my birthday in 2001.

Why I Love Canada

I went to Denise's surprise birthday party tonight and had a great time. Normally she has a bunch of dirty hippies from the Work Less Party at her place and I feel really out of place (seeing as I am OK with working and all). However, tonight the party had a really interesting mix of people from at least 10 different countries including Canada, Australia, Germany, Peru, Serbia, England, USA, etc... That's what Canada is all about. People from all regions of the globe come here for the hope of a better and safer life. God/Buddha/Jehova/Vishnu, Allah, whatever...I love this country.

My Broken Cherry

Well, it's officially my first post. That's right, I'm no longer a blog virgin. Is that called a blirgin?